Nobody's Perfect. I'm As Close As It Gets. (Dear Dumb Diary Year Two #3) Paperback – January 1, 2013

This series is so funny you get caught in the books...What’s Your Future? Okay, you know your life is going to be totally perfect. But you can find out more about what the future has in store by answering these questions!1.) If you forgot to study for a test, what would you do?a. Point out to the teacher that tests aren’t really a true measure of how much we know.b. Fake a horrible disease and go to the nurse’s office.c. Release bag of bats in classroom (requires some preparation2.) Of these choices, which is your favorite school subject?a. Artb. Mathc. Lunch3.)On a Sunday afternoon, what are you usually doing?a. Homework that I put off until the very last minute.b. Anything I want! I finished my homework on Friday night.c. Waiting for my dad to fall asleep on the couch so I can change the TV channel from football to a glorious dance movie.4.) What animal are you most like?a. A cute and big- eyed koalab. A noble horsec. A friendly dolphin that is also part koala on his mom’s side 5.)How many extracurricular activities are you involved in?a. 1– 2b. 5 +c. 3– 46.) If your stinky beagle or other doglike pet was foaming at the mouth, what would you do?a. My stinky beagle is always foaming at the mouth. Foam is how he communicates. How is this different than any other time?b. Call the vet right away. (It’s not rabies. Rabies would choose a cuter dog.)c. Check to make sure he didn’t eat a whole tube of toothpaste (which is likely). 7.) Of these choices, what’s your favorite color?a. Sparkle coloredb. A nice, calming bluec. PurpleRead the book to find your fortuneDear Dumb Diary, You know the sound a coconut makes when it bounces off the rubbery side of a prize-winning hog? Wait. I’m getting ahead of myself. Let me describe my Friday. Let’s say that you had a best friend and her name was, I don’t know, Shmisabella. Okay, so Shmisabella is taking banjo lessons. She told you so and proved it by showing you her banjo case. She even played you some banjo music she has on her iPod — “I am way into banjos,” Shmisabella says — but here’s the thing: Shmisabella does NOT, in any way, have anything to do with the banjo. You just don’t know that. Perhaps you were at lunch a week before, and your friend said something about how one time she brought a kangaroo home from the zoo. Sure, you know that Shmisabella actually did it, because it was your garage she hid the kangaroo in until she climbed into the kangaroo’s pouch and you had to confess to your parents so they would call the paramedics to come and remove her from a kangaroo. But another girl at the table , Yolanda, who is a dainty person — you know the type, eats popcorn one piece at a time, has those tiny little buttons on her clothing that people with regular human -sized hands can’t operate — made this quiet, dainty pfft sound to indicate that she thought your friend was lying. Now, Shmisabella didn’t react to the pfft sound, so you knew that she either didn’t care or just ignored it. Yeah, guess what. Wrong. She noticed it

This book isfunny and good. :)UGH WHY DO I HAVE TO WRITE 20 WORDSURRJRRIFFNFNDBDKDISEKDjeidhwbhJksskdjdjdjjOne word. Two words. Three words. FINALLY ITS 20 WORDSGeez so annoying

My daughter and I have been reading this series for a while and we laugh at all the adventures of Jamie's middle school life. Great book for a 11-13 year old.

I really liked this book. Jamie is worried about her future,so she does all of these crazy things with her best friend ,Isabella. From rubbing coffee on her armpits , to finding out the secrets of meatloaf, Jamie does it all!

I absolutely LOVE this series! Is very funny and really interesting. I would recommend this book to anyone with a great since of humor! My grandma even read a few of these and she loved them! I think it would be a wonderful series for all ages!

My review was 5 stars because its so funny! I love all these books by Jim Benton ! I always do the thing in the back and the book was right I do have a disaster I call a bedroom!

All these books are good. My kids like all of them. The best part is they will read and reread the older books. I never thought I would see that. I have read them for bedtime stories and have got hooked on the stories also.

Very funny and over exaggerated, but in good way. I love Jim Benton's books and can't wait for the next in the series.