White Fragility: Why It's So Hard for White People to Talk About Racism

I had heard quite a bit about this book, both positive and negative. I decided I needed to read it for myself, both to educate myself on the topic of systemic racism and to form my own opinion of the book. I found the book to be both challenging and enlightening. The author definitely challenges white readers to change our perspective on systemic racism in America and the role we play in that system. In reading the first half of the book, I was troubled a bit by DiAngelo's terminology and word usage. She uses terms such as "racism" and "white supremacy" differently from their more common usages. She is careful to explain her usage and definitions. However, it still took a bit of getting used to. I was also a bit troubled that her terminology seems intended to make her primary intended audience, white Americans, uncomfortable. However, by the time I finished the book I realized DiAngelo does this on purpose because she sees discomfort as an essential step for most white Americans to begin changing our racial paradigm and begin developing stamina for discussing racial topics without reverting to familiar defensive tactics. Reading this book also helped me better understand some past conversations I found confusing. It is always easier to communicate when all participants understand the terminology being used. I feel I also have a better understanding of some of the harsh critiques of this book. Not only is the book intentionally uncomfortable for most white Americans to read, but it also uses terminology differently from common usages. The result is it would be really easy for a reader to take offense... and equally easy to grab a quote out of context that comes across as having a completely different meaning from the author's intent. Now for some discussion of what the book does not do: 1. It does not promote a socialist agenda. 2. It does not advocate for financial reparations. 3. It does not mention the phrase "Critical Race Theory." 4. It makes no mention whatsoever of capitalism. 5. It is neither un-American nor anti-American. 6. It is not opposed to sound Christian doctrine, nor to the Gospel, nor to the Bible. 7. It is not divisive. 8. It does not seek to make white Americans feel guilty for things done by our ancestors. On the contrary, the whole point of the book is to help white Americans better understand systemic racism and our role in that system, so we can begin to learn to do better at a personal level. I found the message of this book quite compatible with the commandment of Jesus Christ to love others as He has loved us. DiAngelo displays both humility and hope in how she shares personal stories of her own experiences and struggles. DiAngelo is an educator by profession. Her book is very educational. And her vision for reducing inequities of systemic racism is through education. I highly recommend this book to anyone (especially white Americans) who would like to learn more about systemic racism and our roles in those systems, as well as how we can begin to do better. I would caution any white reader to read this book with a teachable attitude, prepared to learn. If approached from a position of arrogance, you will likely just come away frustrated and angry.

DiAngelo challenges us by stripping away the stigma we attach to words like "white supremacy", "racism", and "fragility"; she takes away all the labels and leaves us with the simple truth. By showing how "racism isn't an event, it's a system", the author puts white people squarely in the framework of where we like to deny we live. It is true that it is not my fault I was born white: I had no part in choosing the color of my skin. However, it is also true that I have been born into a system of privilege and supremacy, simply because of the color of my skin. DiAngelo notes that white people have suffered their own INDIVIDUAL trials and battles; she certainly doesn't negate that you or I may have had a horrific childhood. However, as a WHOLE, there is white privilege, and that is her point: individual testimonials do not cancel out an entire system. Reading this book was not easy, as I have certainly used words like "color blind" to describe myself. I have always decried that I had white privilege because I didn't attend a fancy college, I paid for my own education and my own car, and I worked as a teenager. We had money troubles as a young teen too. However, looking back now through my adult eyes, I can see the system. I can see my ignorance in my 20's, when I was positive I was not racist, and that I understood black people. This book is hard reading, because we don't like being forced out of our comfort zone; we don't like being forced to admit that our terminology can have other meanings. As 2020 keeps progressing, I will keep asking myself, in all my relationships with POC, "Where can I go from here?"

I, like many in these turbulent times, am learning a lot about racism. I still feel like I don’t have the right language (or good sense) to navigate the pitfalls of expressing myself clearly and without bias or unintended racism. I have come to the point--this book has certainly helped me along--of realizing that, despite my erstwhile claims of being “not racist,” I have perpetuated racist ideas unintentionally and ignorantly and have unwittingly supported systems of power and racist policies to the detriment of people of color. I feel a certain duty to confess. I feel the tightness in my chest and my clammy palms as my baked-in white fragility bristles at the idea of admitting to my privilege and failures to be “not racist.” These, I hope, can be feelings of change building in my chest and the motivation toward sustained action for equality preparing my hands to do the work. My fingers fumble along the keys trying to peck out a reasonable analysis of this book, but ultimately I know I am really just writing about my own response to the presented ideas. I've scanned a few other reviews railing against the authors myopia, but I am instead focusing on what the book has contributed to my personal journey toward anti-racism. The author starts this book by uncovering a key component of white privilege and therefore fragility: the rarity of needing to view ourselves racially. I am not an impartial, unbiased observer of racial tensions. I am a white person in the midst of a racist society whose structures of power are oriented toward providing advantages to people like myself to the detriment of others. These can be hard pills to swallow as is clear by the vast swaths of humanity who regurgitate them along with their reflexive claims of having black friends or being a good person who doesn’t see race. I’m starting to feel the lumps in my throat from all the hard pills I’ve been swallowing recently, but it feels like my responsibility to at least try to digest these ideas. As she concludes her first chapter, Diangelo writes, “The racial status quo is comfortable for white people, and we will not move forward in race relations if we remain comfortable.” As the book continues, the author clarifies important definitions for terms like discrimination, prejudice, and racism. A crucial aspect of her definition of racism is the idea of power. Racism isn’t just a pre-judgmental stereotype or negative action along racial lines, but collective prejudice “backed by the power of legal authority and institutional control.” An unbalanced societal power dynamic is required to fuel this systemic racism and it is therefore linked to white supremacy in America. Diangelo supports the somewhat controversial claim, “People of color may also hold prejudices and discriminate against white people, but they lack the social and institutional power that transforms their prejudice and discrimination into racism.” She then continues to build on ideas from the first chapter as she reiterates that whiteness needs to be acknowledged not as a neutral or normal racial state, but a racial identity on equal ground with all others. One’s whiteness, additionally, automatically associates one with the locus of institutional power and structural advantage. Advantages unavailable to people of color in America. Diangelo then takes some time to trace the ever-mutating history of racism in America, focusing primarily on the evolution and institutional insidiousness of racism post-1960’s. Here she focuses on notions such as color blindness and unconscious perpetuation of racist ideas and structures. Moving on, Diangelo talks of the racial experience of white people who “don’t carry the psychic weight of race.” White people enjoy freedom of access and movement, a collective cultural agreement to eschew racial discomfort, an idealized nostalgia for the good ol’ days, and the ability to view racism as something that happens to people of color rather than something for which white people are responsible. The book then explores the dangers of viewing racism as a binary disposition. This seems a bit redundant, but the author takes time to address popular apologetics such as “I was raised to see everyone as equal,” or, “focusing on race is what divides us.” In another somewhat repetitive chapter, Diangelo then explores “anti-blackness.” She seems to focus on overt examples of white self-elevation and oppression of black people where her argument may have been advanced further by examining the institualization of anti-black policies in our society. The next two chapters explore triggers of white fragility and are summarized well in a concluding paragraph: “White equilibrium is a cocoon of racial comfort, centrality, superiority, entitlement, racial apathy, and obliviousness, all rooted in an identity of being good people free of racism. Challenging this cocoon throws off our racial balance. Because being racially off balance is so rare, we have not had to build the capacity to sustain the discomfort. Thus, whites find these challenges unbearable and want them to stop.” Diangelo goes on to give examples of white fragility in her experience leading diversity training groups. A particularly helpful insight was the trend of white people to make conversations on racial discomfort about their own hurt, suffering, or feelings of being misunderstood. This, she argues, is just another example of white fragility and white privilege. Additionally, white fragility requires that race be addressed in ways that are palatable to white sensibilities. In contrast, the author offers this alternative: “How, where, and when you give me feedback is irrelevant--it is the feedback I want and need.” I particularly appreciated this practical point of racial engagement. I need to listen to and believe people of color’s experience of racism at this time of social crisis (and, of course, on an ongoing basis). “The method of delivery cannot be used to delegitimize what is being illuminated or as an excuse for disengagement.” In concluding, the author offers some practical pointers for how people can responsibly engage in conversations of race. She notes that, when asked about what white people can do, she challenges them to examine how they have come this far without knowing how to address racism. Maybe it’s a lack of education or exposure or isolation from diversity. She urges that white people take the initiative to examine their privilege and fragility and treat addressing racism as we would a terminal diagnosis of a little-known disease. Research, read, seek out others with experience, do your homework. While her advice and strategies are helpful, I think Diangelo misses a key component which, to be fair, may simply lie outside the scope of her work. Namely, if racism is a systemic issue with white people as the primary benefactors, shouldn’t there be a weight of responsibility for anti-racist white people to actively pursue shifting the power dynamics within these systems? Shouldn’t we move beyond examining assumptions and learning to communicate by taking action for social reform? It seems if one follows her argument to its conclusion, the political ramifications of racism cannot be ignored and white political inaction is tantamount to actively sustaining our unbalanced societal structures. So, I walk away from this book more open to introspection, more careful in examining my positions of privilege due to my racial identity, more eager to accept feedback, and more motivated to be an ally who is active in my pursuit of change for the sake of justice rather than settling back into my comfortable white cocoon of the status quo. I found this book to be a helpful nudge for white people like myself to engage in racial conversations. It does seem to pull some punches and is repetitive at times, but it nonetheless advocates for movement toward justice and equality and is therefore a worthwhile read. B+

White Fragility is written by a White author for White readers. Every White person must read this book. What I got from this book is that it’s like a tool or a guide even, to help us as White people understand out actions. What Diangelo portrays is that as White people we are too hung up on our own White Privilege, and we can be racist without even being aware that we are. As Shae from bookswithshae says, “Racism is the symptom of White Supremacy.” In White Fragility, Diangelo is very candid about her racism and so rightfully call herself out. She openly talks about how she has realized her racism and that of other White people. She covers topics of racism and White Supremacy, how race shapes the lives of white people, The Good/Bad Binary and White Fragility in action. There was a lot of controversy around whether this book was going to be used in this buddy read because Diangelo uses the N-word uncensored. I as many people don’t agree with this but as someone said during the live show, to disregard one book on the N-word is to disregard racism, you have to be made uncomfortable if you wish to learn. Diangelo also covers White tears. Diangelo states ‘White women’s tears have a powerful impact in this setting, effectively reinscribing rather than ameliorating racism.’ White women’s tears can be harmful. This is seen in a statement within White Fragility about a White woman and a Black man Emmett Till. ‘…. Emmett Till, a fourteen-year-old boy who reportedly flirted with a white woman – Carolyn Bryant – in a grocery store in Mississippi in 1955. She reported his alleged flirtation to her husband, Roy Bryant, and a few days later, Roy and his half-brother, J. W. Milam, lynched Till, abducting him from his great uncle’s home. They beat him in the Tallahatchie River. An all-white jury acquitted the men, who later admitted to the murder. On her deathbed, in 2017, Carolyn Bryant recanted this story and admitted that she had lied.’ This absolutely sickens me and goes to show how much us White people can be so harmful to Black people. This women cried wolf and the symptom of doing that led to an innocent black mans death. As White women we need to keep our emotions in check when is comes to situations like this. Diangelo covers a lot and writes in a way to make you think of your actions and make a change to them. The epitome of White Fragility is critism for the wrong us as White people can and still do towards Black people. But critism is progress and progress is what we need. Someone said a line within the live show that bookswithshae hosted and I had to note down; ‘Words are a start but if you stop at words and empty gestures then your words mean nothing. Focus your energy on actions not words.’ Educate yourself and make a difference to your actions and use your voice to amplify Black voices.

A very illuminating and informative read. I enjoyed it very much, and so did my family.

Peccato non esiste una versione in italiano (al momento). Nonostante l'autrice sia americana e parli dal punto di vista statunitense, questo libro è assolutamente universale. E' illuminante e scritto in maniera molto chiara. Ho avuto il piacere di condividere la lettura con alcune amiche e potermi confrontare con loro su ciò che via via apprendevamo. Aiuta ad aprire la mente, evolversi e diventare persone migliori. Sto cercando di convincere tutti i miei conoscenti e amici a leggerlo.

Picked this book because as like a lot of white people, I was frustrated with the topic and always trying to be a good ally and it feeling like it was never enough. This book is a gamechanger. It's a short but densely-packed read. You enter it maybe a little worried that it'll be frustrating again (but at least limited to a few pages) and leave - most of all! - a lot calmer, with a much clearer head. My frustration is almost entirely replaced with a curiosity and a better idea how to navigate an issue that is so much bigger than oneself.

I would like to call it an eye opening commentry on the reality the majority of the world has been living since the last few centuries. But I think this book has just put the thoughts of the majority into words. It's a sharp, unembellished commentary on the reality around us.