---
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title: "Joseph Smith's Polygamy: Toward a Better Understanding"
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---

# Joseph Smith's Polygamy: Toward a Better Understanding

**Brand:** brian c. haleslaura h. hales
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Joseph Smith's Polygamy: Toward a Better Understanding

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## Customer Reviews

### ⭐⭐⭐⭐ 4.0 out of 5 stars







  
  
    Polygamy was a mistake! Let's stop trying to defend it, please!
  

*by L***. on Reviewed in the United States on May 28, 2022*

Polygamy in the early church is something that I read about briefly in my early 20s but had to put away. Polygamy is a Pandora's box to me. It leaves me with endless questions, concerns, doubts. I decided a year ago to open the box again and look inside. I have had all the feels researching this topic and not pleasant ones. I have had many sleepless nights this last year wrestling with this topic. The Haleses acknowledges that much of this information may be disturbing and troubling.This review may seem more like an essay versus a review. I have gone back and forth about whether to post this review but feel that different perspectives on this subject are needed. And this may help someone keep their testimony. I do have a strong testimony that Joseph Smith was a prophet of God and the Book of Mormon was divinely inspired, but I think he was in err on polygamy. Prophets are not infallible, they make mistakes.The Haleses' book is the only book on Joseph Smith's polygamy that is from a faithful perspective that I am aware of. And even with that said, there are still soooo many problems with it. He acknowledges that Joseph Smith's polygamy has not "weathered" well. I appreciate the time and effort the Haleses have put into his research and him being brave enough to tackle such a difficult subject.The origins of polygamy according to many historians began with Joseph's reading of the Old Testament and studying the lives of these patriarchs. Joseph considered himself to be a prophet like these men were and this is what prophets did, practice polygamy. At the time in his home 19-year-old Fanny Alger was working as maid. Did he develop feelings for her, that made him inquire of God if polygamy was ok for him to practice? Usually with Joseph's revelations, they are prompted by some other thing in his environment. Or according to Joseph, was he first commanded by an angel to live this principle and decided Fanny was a good candidate because of her proximity?We will never know these things. Journal entries during this time period are filled with Joseph struggling deeply over something. Joseph was indeed married to Fanny, but not sealed to her. This is before the sealing ordinance was received. But the marriage ended in disaster because it was hidden from Emma and when she found out she was very upset and told Fanny to leave. Although Fanny went on to marry another man and eventually have 9 children by him, and joined the Universalist church, Joseph Smith had her sealed to him. This was the last sealing Joseph performed for himself.Joseph's polygamous marriages included all different types: Dynastic marriages, a Levirate marriage, marriages to "old maids", marriages to women already happily or unhappily married to other men, marriages to two 14 year olds, although they were likely never consummated, other teenagers, marriages arranged by his older wives to the younger ones, pretend marriages, a marriage to a mother and her daughter.Marriages were performed for 3 sister pairs including the Partridge sisters, who were the daughters of Edward Partridge, the first bishop of the church. Joseph Smith married them after their father had died when they were living as maids in his home. He married 2 of the Johnson sisters. According to their mother, Joseph told her that his first thought when commanded to live polygamy by the Lord was to go to her and ask to marry some of her daughters, as she had 3 unmarried daughters in her home while living in Kirtland. He married the Lawrence sisters. After their mother died, Joseph became the legal guardian of the children. He sent the younger children to live with other families and the 2 older sisters lived in the Nauvoo mansion with him, eventually becoming his wives.He married his deceased brother Don Carlo's wife Agnes Coolbrith 5 months after he died. He married Helen Mar Kimball when she was 14. It was a dynastic marriage arranged by her father. She later went on to write a book defending the practice of plural marriage. He married Fanny Young, the older sister of Brigham Young who was an old maid. According to the Haleses approximately 11 of these marriages were consummated based on historical documentation, but we will never know for sure what these numbers may be.I believe in Joseph's mind his living plural marriage was for religious reasons, but there are so many problems with his implementation. He told Mary Elizabeth Rollins and Zina Huntington that God had told him that they were to be his wives although they were married to other men and had children by them. This is a belief of Emmanuel Swedenborg, a popular philosopher of the time, and someone whose works Joseph was probably familiar with. This belief was that certain men and women knew each other before birth and were promised to each other.The marriage of Joseph Smith to other men's wives, although for eternity only and without a physical aspect, is still in deep violation and entirely in disregard to the first marital vow of the wife legally and ethically. Even if Joseph "believed" they were supposed to be his wives and if he had a higher priesthood, there still is no justification for it.Was Joseph just confused about the sealing ordinance? In the early church men were sealed to the prophets through the law of adoption, but this practice was later stopped with Wilford Woodruff. Was Joseph just trying to figure out how this eternal marriage system worked?In the case of Sarah Ann Whitney, promises were made by Joseph Smith of eternal salvation for her and her family if she married him. Isn't Jesus Christ the only one by whom we may be granted eternal salvation? And there is also the problem of her being only 17 years old, and the prophet being in his late 30s, in a position of authority over her.Some argue that Joseph was trying his hardest to live a very difficult commandment and made many mistakes. But with such an important commandment why weren't more instructions given? And one can only wonder after reading the history of the LDS church and polygamy if God is the author of such confusion. Isn't God's house a house of order? I do believe with such an important commandment with women's hearts, bodies, and souls at stake more clear and specific instruction would have been given.Emma was never really on board with polygamy. Her absolute disdain and anger about the system led her not migrating with the saints to Utah, and denying that it ever happened as she got older. Could you blame her? The Haleses acknowledge that her discovery of these polygamous relationships would be similar to a woman discovering her husband having an affair and yet Joseph did so 36 times. We don't know how much Emma knew of the extent of her husband's marriages or if she knew she was the 22nd wife to be sealed to him.Emma did vacillate between support and outright opposition of this principle. She began to use the Relief Society to preach against polygamy. Women were seen in this era as guardians of virtue and morality and that is what she was standing up for. Quite a few of the Relief Society members were secretly married to her husband. Brigham Young later disbanded the Relief Society for this reason and later reinstituted it. Can we seek to defend Joseph Smith less and defend Emma more?I believe that Emma denied polygamy in her older years, because it was just too painful for her. I think she was so conflicted in her spirit and her psyche that she suffered PTSD from it. I think it pushed her to the brink of madness. Joseph lied and hid so much from her and others. By removing it from her life she could survive mentally. Would God condone this kind of mental and spiritual torment to one of his daughters?The RLDS church was begun with the premise that Joseph was a prophet but toward the end of his life he started teaching doctrines that were not true. Her sons were taught that their father never practiced polygamy and set out to investigate and discover if this was ever so. And there are other LDS splinter groups resulting from polygamy, the FLDS, which still believe in and practice polygamy.Quite a few of the women had spiritual manifestations regarding the rightness of plural marriage. Perhaps they did indeed, I believe in such things, but one can argue what the mind can create when under extreme psychological pressure. Also I am sure Vilate Kimball heard rumors of polygamy before her husband started living it. And maybe intuitively understood that her husband's seeming anguish could be related to it.The Haleses point out that none of the wives of Joseph ever accused him of inappropriate behavior as they got older. Most remained faithful in the church. Zina Huntington later became the Relief Society president for the church. A few left the church and no longer believed it to be true.The numbers of wives that Joseph and other early leaders of the church married is a huge problem. The Haleses give a critique of Joseph's polygamy and this is one of the criticisms. Why such a huge number? Joseph could have openly told Emma the principle and had her agree to perhaps one marriage. Brian Hales argues that it was Joseph's privilege to choose to have that many wives.But what about the women's privileges? Polygamy is such an unfair system to women. Some women claimed to be happy in their marriages and experienced romantic love, but so many of them said they had to guard their hearts to not be emotionally scarred by the experience. They would say that once they stopped loving their husband they could tolerate polygamy. And so one begins to think the whole system becomes just a mockery of marriage. Or does one hold on to the belief that yes it was a commandment to raise up seed and even though it was messy it was a commandment from God that needed to be lived, regardless of all of the negative repercussions, and there were and are a lot of them.Regarding the subject of its practice among early church leaders. Men in higher positions in the church had more wives. Heber C. Kimball had 43 wives, Brigham Young had 55 wives. While these men had the most wives, many of the early church leaders had close to a dozen wives. So here we have an example of spiritual alpha males exerting their dominance and women being merely a number in a house full of females, and competing to be a favorite wife to earn more privileges for herself and her children.And thus this practice becomes exceedingly quixotic. Could a man really expect to care for the financial, emotional, physical needs of so many wives and children? Many of Heber C. Kimball's wives lived in absolute poverty and even Brigham Young, although more wealthy was not able to adequately meet the economic needs of his wives and children.These men were intent on building their earthly kingdom. But ironically as their kingdom grew the women in their lives got less and less of everything. And what exceeding pressure a man would be under to meet all of the needs for all his wives and children. Talk about stress!Often these wives and children almost never saw their husbands and fathers as they were busy with church work, missions, and their other families. The women were basically single moms. While these strong women that entered into polygamous marriages defended the practice in public their private journals are full of despair, sadness, and loneliness. Also when women finally got the right to vote, why didn’t they get rid of polygamy? Because often their voting was highly monitored, and they were under intense political pressure to vote the “right” way.I'll throw in this quote by Lindsay Hansen Park. "While their husbands were away dreaming about being Gods and talking about their priesthood, it's the women, over and over again who kept taking the terrible scraps given to them and transforming it. Mormon women have so much practice turning straw into gold."Another problem with polygamy is it just doesn't work long-term. Early apostles and prophets preached and believed it was an eternal principle that was here to stay, but logistically it doesn't work out long-term. Because a nearly equal number of boys and girls are born, one runs into the problem of not enough women for men who were trying to build up their earthly kingdom.This caused many of these early church leaders to marry younger and younger women because they were running out of women. It is a problem, in my eyes, when a 60-year-old man is marrying a 16 year old. But if you are trying to raise up seed and women generally stop bearing children in their 40s and men can have children for decades after this, it works out for that purpose.If polygamy is lived beyond a short term such as about the 50 years the church practiced it, one runs into the problem the FLDS church has of running out many of the young men, because there are just not enough women to go around. Also, the by-product of Joseph Smith’s polygamy, the FLDS church, and the suffering of the women, children, and yes even the men in this system is enough of a reason that polygamy should never been started.Polygamy had so many negative consequences as discussed above but also Joseph and Hyrum were martyred primarily relating to this practice, the church was threatened it would lose their temples, as discussed earlier, splinter groups emerged.There is such ambiguity with the practice of polygamy. Will the church eventually disavow the teaching of polygamy as they have disavowed the priesthood ban and other racist teachings that were taught as doctrinal from prophets and apostles for years? Do we see God's fingerprints on this practice? So many questions. And unfortunately, polygamy still reverberates today in the sealing practices performed in the temple.Many LDS people believe that Heavenly Father is a polygamist. I believe our Heavenly Mother is equal in glory and power to Heavenly Father and not one of many of Heavenly Father's wives.If people eternally would choose to be in a polygamous marriage, without coercion, that would be their choice. But I believe these sealings could go both ways with women being sealed to more than one man. In fact, as of 1994 a woman can be sealed to more than one man after she dies.If a woman was married to 2 men in this life that she loved dearly and had children by both men I don't believe she would have to choose if they both agreed. I don't believe only men would only have this option. It would be a woman's right and privilege!I believe in a just and glorious heaven with lots of wonderful surprises. In fact, we might all be surprised when we go to heaven and there is not a surplus of women, but of men. (107 boys are born per 100 girls.)It is said during the Millennium many sealings will be done and undone. Think of all of the marriages throughout time that have been arranged, done for financial or political reasons without being founded on love. Love lasts and endures. This is a true sealing of hearts, bodies, and souls.Polygamy, concubinage was never commanded by God in ancient cultures and civilizations. It was not a religious practice but rather a cultural practice with ties to slavery and patriarchal dominance over matriarchy. Polygamy exists at times and in cultures where women have few legal rights and are considered property.As we as people on earth become more civilized, polygamy is generally regarded as a relic of the past not something to be embraced, defended, and idealized, something that should be discarded not brought back to life such as animal sacrifice, the law of Moses, stoning, and slavery.We claim to be "The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints". What would Jesus Christ think of polygamy? How did Jesus Christ treat women? He loved them, treated them as valuable, worthwhile, defended them, elevated their status. Polygamy does none of this. Can we honestly claim His name if we have a doctrine that does not treat women the way He would? Does the atonement of Jesus Christ cover the mental and emotional pain women suffered in polygamy?D&C 8 says that we can receive a knowledge of whatsoever things we ask in faith, with an honest heart, that we will be told in our mind and heart. Well after studying polygamy in depth for a year both my mind and heart have told me it was wrong. We have a conscience and the light of Christ for a reason, to tell us what is right and wrong. Even if a prophet or apostle tells us to do something, we are accountable to decide if it is a correct principal or in err.D&C 132 contains many beautiful things about the sealing ordinance, but also things that are not. Usually Joseph edited his revealed scriptures, but he didn't edit D&C 132. Would he have changed a few things? For instance, he lists Isaac as a polygamist, and he was not. Women are not property to be "given" to men. Women are not a reward for a man living a righteous life.The law of Sarah was a form of surrogacy used anciently because Abraham and Sarah could not have children. And you could say it was a lack of faith that caused them to use Hagar. They did not trust God and his promises to them. Joseph Smith already had children and had no need for another wife to raise up seed. He had no other living children with his other wives that we know of.The reasons given for why polygamy was lived start to break down when you honestly start to examine them. Read, “The Ghost of Eternal Polygamy”, but Carol Lynn Pearson.While I think we should honor the beautiful sacrifice so many women made in polygamy, we should also acknowledge that it was a sacrifice that did not need to be made, especially not with threats of eternal damnation if not abided to. One must only barely dig below the superficial surface of the “faith promoting”, happy stories of polygamy to realize the deep mental, emotional pain, the relationship distress, and often financial hardships that women and also the children experienced in polygamy. I cannot worship or love a God that would do this to women.But often the true and real stories are hidden away just like many of these faceless and nameless women whom our church was built upon. We know Joseph Smith’s name and Emma’s, but do most LDS know even one of Joseph Smith's other wive's names? Let’s speak their names and tell their stories, which the Halses do in this book.In summary of Joseph Smith’s polygamy, quoting Margaret Thatcher Ulrich, “In Joseph's own behavior, there are things Latter-day Saints should be concerned about.” (Margaret Thatcher Ulrich- Pulitzer Prize-winning historian “A House Full of Females”)We could follow the logic of a quote by Patrick Mason, an LDS historian, "We can consider the possibility that Joseph Smith was wrong about polygamy – in whole or in part – without relinquishing our faith and confidence in other things God revealed through him.” Can we keep the gems of the restoration and throw out the rocks? Polygamy to me is a rock.  Polygamy leaves me with endless questions, concerns, doubts. I will be reading and reviewing a few more books on polygamy and then close this Pandora's box once again...

### ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ 5.0 out of 5 stars







  
  
    Raw; Gut wrenching; Emotionally stressful.
  

*by B***A on Reviewed in the United States on October 18, 2015*

This book is so well written, you'll be torn apart and your heart will rend. That's if you have a testimony that Joseph Smith was a Prophet. If you don't already have that testimony, this book will either inspire you to seek one or it will send you reeling.You need to pray about the things in this book as fervently as you would pray to know if the Book of Mormon is the Word of God. Actually, you should read the Book of Mormon first.Nonetheless...Joseph Smith's Polygamy, provides members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints a clarity of detail they've long yearned for. So few members have access to the kind of research and documentation accessed by the Hale's through their tremendous efforts, presented here. I thank them sincerely.Packed with astonishing details not available in any Sunday School class, this book should be a Sunday School class! It's a critical review which will astound you and provide insights and information regarding the single most sensitive issue of Mormonism.Though seriously puzzled over many inexplicable incidents and discouraged by so few official records, I took a great sigh of relief after reading the entire book.Be fair. Be honest with yourself. You need to read the entire book. Read it carefully. Don't cheat yourself out of a satisfying and fulfilling experience. Yes! A satisfying, fulfilling, frustrating and most uncomfortable read ever.

### ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ 5.0 out of 5 stars







  
  
    Required reading on this topic
  

*by D***E on Reviewed in the United States on December 12, 2015*

If you want to learn about plural marriage in the early Church, this is the perfect starting place. Thoroughly researched and written with faith, this book tackles all the hard questions in an accurate but concise way. The biographies of each of the women in Joseph's story alone is worth the price of the book, but the value is well beyond those closing chapters as the authors deftly handle every question I have ever seen raised, and more. This is  not apologetics per se but an honest, candid, and thorough documentation of what is known and what we can learn from it all.Then after you read this primer, pick up the full three volume set by the same author (minus his wife, since he wrote the larger set before they were married) and when you read those, you'll be thoroughly educated about this topic. The four books combined constitute the foundation for all future studies on Joseph Smith and the doctrine of eternal marriage. No one in or out of the Church can say they know about this topic unless they have first read these books.

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